Aftermath
by thearendork
Summary: Rain washes everything away. It may even pave the way to something new. One-shot. Proto-fic to One Year.


_Note:_

The first portion of this fanfic is the first time I've written Tadashi x Elsa. It can't even be considered a ficlet because it was more of a snippet, something I banged out together to get rid of the Tadashi x Elsa feels. Sometime later, I started working on my official Elsashi/Tadelsa/Elsadashi/whateverthehecktheshipiscalledfanfic called One Year. But since I'm running into a block in writing Chapter Five, I decided to polish the snippet I first wrote and expanded it, which ended up into this. This isn't part of One Year, by the way, but it's more of like a…well, a proto-fic, I guess.

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><p>"Elsa, wait!" she heard him cry out behind her, his voice almost drowned out by the rain. The weather reflected the storm of emotions churning within her—grief, anger, guilt, sadness—these seethed within her, squeezing the breath out of her lungs as she ran. At the back of her mind Elsa knew she was being reckless—running blindly in the rain is dangerous.<p>

But she didn't care. She had to get away. Get away before she could hurt Tadashi…or worse.

"It's not your fault!"

Those four words broke through the haze of pain and anguish, causing her to skid to a stop. "Not my fault?" she snapped, spinning on her heel to face him. "Not my fault?" her voice rose to an almost hysterical pitch, her tears mixing with the rain. "How did you know that, Tadashi? Were you there? Were you there when I tripped and accidentally hit my sister with my powers? When I almost killed my sister?" she raged at him, her chest heaving from the onslaught of memories.

She couldn't see Tadashi anymore, couldn't hear him. But she heard the high-pitched beeps, instruments crashing to the floor, hurried footsteps and shouts. She saw doctors huddled over Anna, frantically trying to keep her vital signs stable until an old family friend helped revive her—but at the cost of her memories. She saw her parents' shocked faces as she gasped at them that it was an accident. She felt her father's embrace when he bade her farewell at the airport, and his pain over what happened to his daughters. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she broke away, struggling to contain her tears. "I'm sorry for what happened to Anna."

"It's not your fault," her father had said.

But she couldn't believe it. She would NEVER believe it.

Elsa was jarred back to the present by a pair of strong arms wrapping around her in a tight embrace. "Wh—Tadashi, what the hell? Let me go!" She struggled against him, but he held her tighter instead.

"I'm not letting you go. Not until you believe that it's not your fault." Tadashi paused, loosening his arms around her slightly to pull back and look at her. "I'm not giving up on you." His voice rang with the certainty of a vow, his determined brown eyes boring into her vulnerable blue ones. "I'm not giving up on you, you hear me?"

Her eyebrows snapped together in a fierce glower. "Don't be stupid, Tadashi," she hissed. "Give up and walk away while you still can. I'm a mon—"

"Shut up. Just shut up!" He shook her once to cut off her incoming tirade. "You never were a monster, Elsa. You…you—" Tadashi clenched his jaw as he breathed heavily, his brown eyes almost glaring at her agitated blue ones. "I don't know your whole story, but from what I pieced together, I know you're the most loving, generous person I know. You're the only one I know who was strong enough to make the sacrifice that you did."

Elsa opened her mouth to counter him, but he spoke first. "But you know you need to fix things with your sister, right?" he said, his voice gentling. "It's been a long time."

"It's too late," she replied bleakly, dropping her gaze to his chest. She couldn't bear to look at him—surely he was mistaken about what he thought of her. Only the worst person in the world would abandon a sibling during her time of need. Where was she when their parents died? Hiding away in San Fransokyo, frozen by fear.

She was so selfish.

"It's never too late." The strong note of determination in his voice made her look up at him. "I know it's hard, but you can do it. If you need my help, I'm here. I'm always here for you. And I repeat: I'm not giving up on you. You don't know it yet, but your sister needs you. I…" he trailed off, swallowing hard. "I need you, too."

She could only nod slowly in dumb fascination, unable to tear her gaze away from his. He needed her? What could she possibly offer him? But she soaked up his words hungrily to store them in her memories and add to her too few good ones. The raindrops clung to his eyelashes and plastered his bangs to his forehead, and Elsa couldn't remember the last time she'd seen something so…beautiful.

Tadashi must have felt the same too, because something about him shifted. He lifted his hand to her cheek and cradled it gently, wiping the tears and rain with his thumb. Elsa felt her heart beating madly in her chest when she saw him bend down slowly, hesitantly, as if asking for her permission to…

To kiss her?

Before she knew it, his lips had gently touched hers, causing her mind to go completely blank. But her instincts kicked in—her eyelids slid closed as her arms crept up to his neck to pull him closer as she returned his kiss, seeking oblivion in the warmth he radiated despite the rain.

* * *

><p>The first thing Elsa did upon reaching her apartment was to make a beeline to her room. "Wait here," she instructed Tadashi, who was soaking wet from the downpour. The rain fell steadily outside as thunder growled from a distance. She quickly toweled herself off to keep from dripping on her carpet then rummaged through her closet, firmly keeping herself focused on finding her baggiest sweatpants and a towel for her guest.<p>

"Here, Tadashi." Elsa handed him the pants and towel when their fingertips brushed as she did, and she ignored the tingles that traveled up her arm at the contact. "You'd better shower to get warmed up. I don't want you catching a cold or something."

"What about you?" Tadashi asked, uncharacteristically solemn. They were in Elsa's apartment, which was only ten minutes away from where they were earlier—where they kissed, which was that cherry-blossom lined path they first met, in the rain. They had stared at each other for what seemed an eternity when the kiss tapered off, her mind a complete blank as she wrestled with the chaos of emotions swirling within her. Practicality reasserted itself when Tadashi had blinked and broke the spell, prompting her to suggest that they get dried off at her apartment since it was nearby.

Elsa forced herself back into the present. "The cold doesn't bother me, remember?"

"Ah."

Elsa could see questions crowding in Tadashi's eyes, but was grateful he kept them to himself. She still wasn't sure if she could answer them, but if he did, she would try. It was the least she could do, considering he had accepted her despite…well, everything.

Her mind was still awhirl from what happened earlier. She felt drained, but strangely hopeful too. The atmosphere between them was charged with anticipation, and she couldn't decide if it was a good thing or not.

They still had a lot to talk about. That kiss—her mind was telling her that it was a mistake, but her heart was stubbornly saying no.

Elsa took a deep, calming breath and decided to focus on other things—practical ones, like putting away her wet clothes to dry and to don a bathrobe, one that covered her from her neck to ankle, as she waited for him to finish showering. Her heart leapt to her throat when she heard the door of her bathroom open about ten minutes later. Opening her bedroom door a crack, she peeked out and saw Tadashi standing next to her sofa looking around, the towel slung over his right shoulder, and his wet clothes rolled up and clutched in his left hand. Her eyes traveled down the strong column of his neck, down to his smooth chest and flat stomach—she wasn't surprised he had an athletic physique. She saw a suggestive trail of hair disappearing down the waistband of her sweatpants which hung low on his hips, prompting her to wrench her gaze up to his arms. She eyed the contours of his biceps, down to his strong forearms, to his large hands, remembering how warm they felt against her bare skin.

Elsa closed her door as quietly as she could before leaning against it, releasing a slow breath. She had Tadashi in her apartment.

Shirtless and fresh from his shower. Probably without underwear, she guessed.

Elsa's eyes bugged out at the last thought. Since when had her mind gone gutter-diving?

_Probably ever since you started dreaming of him wearing only a towel and very little else. That story of his about the last time he visited a Japanese hot spring got you hot and bothered, didn't it?_ a little voice whispered wickedly in her ear, referring to an amusing story he told her back then involving some kind of prank. _Especially after out of curiosity you researched what onsen were like._

Damn her curiosity. And damn him for being so—

Damn, damn, damn. Elsa couldn't even think the word, but she sure could see it in her mind's eye. Tadashi rising out of the steam like some kind of god, his hand beckoning her to join him. She'd slide into the water as he wrapped his large hands around her waist, while her arms snaked around his neck. They'd stand in the water, their naked bodies almost touching, heat swirling all around them. She would be lost in his brown eyes, her own fluttering shut as he bent down to touch his lips to hers…

"Elsa?" His muffled voice shattered the fantasy. "I'm done showering. It's your turn."

_Quit being such a chicken and just get on with it._ Summoning every ounce of determination, she opened her door and marched past Tadashi, her gait stiff. Elsa closed the door behind her and let out a sharp exhale, jumping when she heard three quick raps on the door.

"Do you have a bag I can use for my clothes?"

"Better if you washed them. Washing machine's in the room next to the bathroom. Can't miss it," she replied, her back against the door.

"Thanks." Elsa listened carefully for the receding sound of Tadashi's footsteps and sighed, shaking her head at how silly she was being. She squeezed her eyes shut as she counted to five before preparing to shower.

_What's going to happen after this?_ she wondered as she lathered her hair with her favorite strawberry-scented shampoo. Normally, that question filled her with dread, but now...

Now, it filled her with anticipation. Elsa bit her lip, remembering the warm press of his mouth against hers, and tried not to be too hopeful. She had never been lucky, and despite the signs that something between them had shifted dramatically, old habits die hard—she doubted she'd get lucky now.

* * *

><p>Tadashi tried not to be too hopeful.<p>

He knew Elsa was wary of him because of what happened between them in the rain. It's not like he was some kind of love expert, but he had a pretty strong hunch that it was Elsa's first kiss. If Elsa were like any other girl, she probably would have viewed it as romantic or something.

But Elsa wasn't any other girl. Elsa was special. Like, really special.

_Ice powers. Who knew?_

Tadashi winced and adjusted the waistband of the sweatpants Elsa lent him—it was a bit of a tight fit, with the cuffs about four or five inches above his ankles. Elsa was a little taller than the average woman, but he was six feet tall, which made borrowing her clothes a little ridiculous.

He tried not to think about how his borrowed clothes had touched her skin, willing his body to behave. Gritting his teeth, he threw his own into the washing machine, set the time and temperature, and poured in a bit of detergent.

He valiantly tried not to think of Elsa next door, showering…

_Dammit, stop right there!_

Tadashi shook his head to clear it from the haze of desire that threatened to cloud his vision. Of all the things he should be thinking about—Elsa didn't need that sort of pressure from him. He wanted to kick himself for blurting out that he needed her. What sort of cad was he to say that when she was obviously so troubled about her sister?

_Stupid, selfish jerk._

He stalked out of the room but had not counted on colliding with Elsa, who had just finished showering and drying her hair and was making a break toward her room.

"Oof!"

His hands automatically reached out to grasp her upper arms to steady her, causing her to look up at him with startled eyes that also held a hint of…invitation? "Whoa there! Uh, Elsa." Their faces were close enough for him to see how her pupils had dilated.

He really should let her go. But the strawberry scent that wafted up his nose, the intense, brilliant blue of her eyes, and her parted, rosy lips left him paralyzed. It really was just a matter of bending down to close the gap between them, to press his body against hers and revel in her softness and warmth.

Tadashi was saved from his dilemma when Elsa made the decision for them—she shrugged his hands off her arms and seized his face to pull him down for a kiss.

While his mind scrambled to catch up on what was happening, his arms automatically wound around Elsa's slender waist to bring her body against his. Her mouth opened under his and he plunged in hungrily, greedily, his tongue clashing and playing with hers as he closed his eyes and lost himself in her. He could scarcely believe what was happening—that he held the girl that haunted both his waking hours and dreams in his arms, her heart pounding madly against his as her hands roamed over the bare skin of his back and his neck before she raked them over his hair.

Tadashi wasn't sure how they managed it but they ended up on her couch, with Elsa straddling his lap as they separated for air. Her hair was wild from the way his hands had tangled within them, her cheeks flushed, the pupils of her eyes so wide that only a thin ring of blue remained, and her lips kiss-swollen. The collar of her robe gaped to reveal her graceful, swan-like neck, smooth, porcelain skin, and a hint of cleavage.

She bit her lower lip which almost undid him.

"Elsa, I…" For all his brashness and honesty about his feelings toward her, Tadashi couldn't bring himself to say what he wanted so badly.

That he wanted her.

He wanted to lose himself within her completely, to surrender his heart and soul to her keeping. But words failed him now underneath her penetrating scrutiny. He was afraid to scare her off with the strength of his feelings and desire for her. Besides, she needed a friend right now.

So Tadashi held his tongue. The ball was in her court, and whatever she decided, he swore to himself that he will abide by it.

But he couldn't bring himself to regret the fact that he had kissed her. Twice, even.

It seemed like an eternity passed before Elsa moved—she exhaled and bent to rest her forehead against his, her hands cradling his jaw tenderly as she closed her eyes.

"Please stay," she whispered.

Tadashi felt his pulse skyrocket at her words. "Are you sure?" he asked, trying to keep calm.

"Yes." Elsa lifted her head to look him straight in the eye. "I need—I need you. Don't leave me alone tonight." He expected to see apprehension, but instead there was a calm resolve within them.

The least he could do was to promise her something.

"I won't leave you alone," he vowed. "Ever."

* * *

><p>An overwhelming sense of relief flooded over Elsa at Tadashi's words. "Really?" she asked, then grimaced at how inane she sounded. He chuckled and ran a finger down the curve of her cheek.<p>

"Really," he confirmed. The smile faded from his face, replaced by an intent expression as he slowly ran his finger down her neck to trace her collarbones. She suppressed a shiver as his finger left behind tingles in its wake. "If it helps, I'm scared too," he admitted after clearing his throat, meeting her inquiring gaze squarely. "If…if we're on the same page about this," he continued, "I'm nervous because I'm not exactly sure what to do and that I might…um…hurt you."

_Oh._

Elsa took his hand silently, the one he used to touch her cheek earlier, and pressed a kiss on his palm before placing it directly over her heartbeat. "Feel that?" she asked with a slight smile. "I'm not scared." Sure enough, once his lips had touched hers earlier, it was as if the storm inside of her calmed, replaced by a fierce desire to love him in every sense of the word.

Even if it hurts.

"But—"

"It may hurt," she continued. "But I don't care, as long as it's you."

Tadashi's face cleared, and he returned her smile, warm brown eyes crinkling. He stood up abruptly, causing her to emit a small squeal of surprise and wrapping her arms and legs around him. "I got you," he murmured, burying his face against her neck. "I'm not letting you go."

There were some awkward moments, even some laughter, when things went a bit awry. But he made good on his promise not to let her go all through the night.

As they lay in the dark, flushed and breathless, she dismissed the thought that things had gone rather fast between them. Months of suppressed longing for each other had finally bubbled to the surface—months of keeping a friendly façade for him, and a wall to keep him away for her, and they were helpless to hide their feelings anymore. Things were far from perfect between them, but Elsa knew that as long as she lived, what she had tonight with Tadashi was perfection.

And someday, she hoped that she would have the courage to say the words she longed to tell him.

_I love you, Tadashi._


End file.
